I’m not young. And I’m not a Republican. So, Ann, you’re calling the wrong number. But I do appreciate the call—because it helps me remember what we’re up against in the 2012 election, and beyond. And gives me a chance to remind myself of what an obnoxious, alpha, mean-girl, snotty sorority sister you are. [Case in point: During the third Presidential debate of this election, you sent out this outrageous tweet:
I'm not even going to try to enumerate the ways in which this tweet is offensive.
But I digress. Back to the robocall.
After throwing around some numbers and statistics about the woeful state of the economy—which is 100 percent the fault of President Obama, according to Coulter, I learn about what she calls Barack Obama’s “exciting” [her word, delivered with dripping sarcasm] plan for America.
“Barack Obama will turn America into a bankrupt, European, socialist nanny state,” says Coulter. “So, this is our one chance to defeat Obamacare. If we don’t, that’s it. Obamacare will be here to stay, andthat will be end of American freedoms and liberties.”
“If Barack Obama is re-elected,” she goes on, “the future is dim. America as a land of opportunity and freedom will exist only in the history books.”
And now the [bizarre and inappropriately targeted] pitch for me to join the Young Republicans. “When I think of today’s young people, I weep that you did not come of age as I did during the Ronald Reagan years of peace and prosperity.” She weeps! Where’s my box of tissue when I really need it?
“Our 2012 Vice-Presidential candidate, Congressman Paul Ryan, is a member of the Young Republicans,” she notes. [And if that doesn’t inspire me, what would?]
The call finishes with a call to action, which I will most definitely heed: “If you want to stop these calls, dial 1-855-530-7774.” Call it. Press 3 to be placed on the do not call list. But then again, doing that will stop me from receiving future calls from Ann. And that would be sad.